A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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