I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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