What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We are all done wearing pants today
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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