dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
