I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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