She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize