allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
