I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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