Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
