So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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