dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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