Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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