i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
