Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
