just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
