I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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