I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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