Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
