I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
