Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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