He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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