I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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