it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
