is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
