also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
