If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
