we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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