i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can I color on your dick again?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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