If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
