have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize