had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
