I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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