Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
