Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
