Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
