Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
