I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
