11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize