but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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