Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
