Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
