come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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