Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
