In the future we'll all be gay
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
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