For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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