It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
