So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
