When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
