I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I didn't notice because vodka
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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