He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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