susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
