she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
