census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
