I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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