R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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